Steamed Clams

One time I invited my friends over for steamed clams, a meal that I actually prepared for them.

and I absolutely spent some time wondering if it would be worth it to head out and pick up a little bit of fast food to disguise as my own cooking

Ultimately I decided against it because the meal itself was already fairly labor intensive and the joke, while funny, probably wasn’t worth the 20 minutes, $5-10, and possible ruination of people’s actual appetites; it would have been a wasteful throwaway joke on account of how I’d actually made steamed clams.

But I want you to know exactly how long and hard I struggled with that conclusion, because we honestly only really invite our friends over for steamed clams, like, a few times ever.

The best I could do was to ask them, when they arrived, if they were prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.

“We’re here for dinner.”