Kingdom: Eighties

some things I’ve shouted at the screen while my wife plays Kingdom: Eighties

“loose child! collect that child!”

“go forth, child army! go forth and destroy my enemies!”

“to be honest, I feel bad for dumpster boy, you should give him a break”

“that was an unusually well-armed child, should he have a sword?”

“he was jock before but he’s dumpster boy now. all is dumpster for him.”

“dumpster boy’s sisyphean task goes on forever, pushing a dumpster up a hill eternally”

“suuure, leave that child in the forest to die”

“you’ve got them hunting for you, fishing for you, and now they’re picking berries for you? this is the worst summer camp ever.”

“oof. scattered remains. I shall require more children”

“oh, that’s pippo, his job is to hand the hammers to the other children. pippo has asthma.”