I don’t see this one tossed out there very often so I’m gonna say it: my first wish is to know exactly what my second and third wishes should be and how to phrase them to hopefully forestall any monkey’s paw shenanigans

Basically, I am what you get if you ask a Genie for an “ass that won’t quit” without thinking about it enough

Genie: surely you want to be just a little more specific

Me: no, I’ve committed, hit me with your best shot