i hate terms like “restaurant grade” or “military grade”, like, they’re meaningless but also even if it were true, it’s possible that the “grade” of something optimized for an environment where it’s bought in a 10,000 pack by someone looking to buy the cheapest thing they can legally get away with is not a vote of confidence
i buy deli containers in bulk, because they’re “restaurant grade”, which is to say, cheap as dirt and modular
Obsidian says that it’s “100% User Supported” which, when I think about it, isn’t a big claim, that’s also the case for Google and McDonalds
whenever someone pitches some new hardware idea that’s “simple”, “powerful”, “optimized”, and “free from distractions” that means that they built something that doesn’t do shit and they’re hoping you won’t notice
are they not floating point operations but a different kind of operation? NVIDIA spent very little effort explaining its marketing fluff here.
grindr: we also have 3400 AI tops
i’ve invented a new term for empty corporatespeak that I’d like to share:
“brandiloquence”
thank you, you may now go about your day as usual
you deserve a break, go pour yourself a drink
the thing about telling people that they deserve something good is that it’s almost always an effective marketing tactic
The “you deserve an X” format is well-worn but weirdly convincing.
Yes, ADVERTISEMENT, I do deserve something special.
Patreon’s marketing is intended to appeal to their 4 key demographics:
The marketing copy has to be about “protecting you from blue light” without any claims having to do with whether or not you actually need to be protected from the color blue, which you absolutely do not:
famously the Emerald City of Oz is depicted in media as actually being a fabulous city of glittering emerald, but in the actual story, residents were required to wear goggles that “protected their eyes” from the dazzling brightness of a city of pure emerald
the goggles were, of course, tinted green, the Emerald City was never emerald at all, it was just another elaborate swindle from Oz, which was in-and-of-itself satire about the myth of American prosperity
I think, were he still alive, L. Frank Baum might find humor in the modern proliferation of swindlers selling glasses intended to protect you from the many imagined harms of the color blue.
Their marketing team is honestly as surprised as you are:
The movie marketing fails to note that this is considered the correct, optimal status for babies.
