of course Santa is real, he’s created anew every year by hundreds of older family members trying to make the world seem a little more special and magical

getting to become Santa for just a few magical moments a year is one of the great things about having kids around

and that’s why I learned how to rotoscope to drop a Santa into my younger brother’s exact Christmas Eve chimney very quickly between 12:30 and 2:30 AM on Christmas morning

I am trying to sell them the world. Any decent realtor,

walking you through a real shithole, chirps on

about good bones: This place could be beautiful,

right? You could make this place beautiful.